Scamming the scammers

So I've been house hunting. Which is about as fun as playing chess with a chicken. A chicken who is really good at chess. But today I had my first sheer joy during the process, at the expense of a scammer. I had applied for a number of central Sydney rooms, all of which had looked way too good to be true for $300 a week. But still, I persevered.

The first reply came from Lustin in broken but not unmanageable English. It wasn't until I received the exact same reply from two different rooms and two different names that I twigged.

Scammers!

But rather than just ignore their stock standard responses to my, admittedly, stock standard email of inquiry, I decided to have some fun. Alas I might have gone out with too much gusto for the game to have dragged on forever but it was an exercise in short and sweet.

The emails are copied below, verbatim, for your enjoyment. Also, don't be scammed by this trash.

Rick Morton to John

10:46 AM (6 hours ago)

I need to know that you will be a good landlord, somebody who cares about my wellbeing so before I put pen to paper and say 'yes' I need some advice from you.

I have this weird colouration and spots on my genitals. I'm not sure if I got it from my previous sexual partner or the goat. It's really starting to worry me. Should I go and see a doctor or do you think it will go away on its own? Have you ever experienced anything like this before?

- Hide quoted text -

On Sun, Mar 13, 2011 at 10:43 AM, John Gracone <axonemu@gmail.com> wrote:

My favorite colour is blue. The apartment is ready. You'll need only to receive the Keys and Lease Agreement to check it and see if you like it. Obviously we need a way to complete this deal that will allow us to make sure we receive what we are after. You can also share the apartment with a friend. In order of that I have found a way for us to complete the deal safely and fast, and in this way you will receive the Keys in less than 2 days, if you move fast as well. The solution is provided by a company called Express Real Estate (www.express-realestate.com) which is similar to FedEx, TNT or UPS, which will handle both payment and delivery of the Keys. I have found a procedure that will allow you to pay for the rent of the apartment after you will receive the keys of it and through this way you will see it and decide if you will stay in the apt or not before I receive my payment.

Cheers

On Sun, Mar 13, 2011 at 1:42 AM, Rick Morton @gmail.com> wrote:

Hello John.

What is your favourite colour? My favourite colour used to be pink but then somebody told me it made me sound gay. I hate gays. You'll understand before I can move into your apartment that I really need to understand what your favourite colour is?\

I also have a pet goat and assume this will be fine to keep in the apartment as well?

Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Many thanks

Rick

On Sun, Mar 13, 2011 at 10:37 AM, John Gracone <axonemu@gmail.com> wrote:

Hello..

My name is John Gracone. i'm a project mananger in civil engineering. I just moved in United Kingdom because my company has won an auction for a big construction project so i will stay here for the next 3 - 5 years or more. The apartment is in the best conditions, it is newly furnished and equipped with all the dependecies. It is near the public transportation, a shipping, a gym and other facilities. The apartment has a parking space for one car. I have spent a great amount of money refurnishing the apartment and my request is that you treat it like it was your own. I am not interested to make a lot of money from the rent as I am interested to find a tenant that will take good care of the property until my return (minimum lease period, 2 months). I will tell you from the beginning that I don't have a problem if you are a student or if you would like to keep pets there, as long as you clean up after them. I hope you understand me. Also please let me know a little something about you, like how many persons do you intend to live in my apartment, for what period etc... The apartment is exactly like in the pictures. The rent is $1250 per month including the utilities (water,electricity,gas,internet,cable,parking). First payment will be for 1 month + a security bond of $1500. I'm 42 years old and as I told you, i'm a project manager and my job even if is paid very well, requires that I move a lot and without notice. I bought the apartment while I was working there. You can move in the apartment in the same day that you will receive the keys. The only problem is that I'm already in Manchester, UK because we started the work, but you don't need to worry because i've made all arrangements to rent the apartment from here. I can guarantee you that this is a great apartment so looking forward to a future collaboration and friendship.

Cheers